niceguyfinish00

I'm here on the east coast now. With most of the family. one of my aunts is not here and my sister doesn't get in until the 24th. Christmas eve. whoot. But it's nice to be on "vacation" even though i am SO very done flying on airplanes. like super done.

But I really feel like I'm finally ready to just move on. Don't get me wrong part of me will always always always be in that place. But I feel like until i just start at least trying to move on I won't. So cheers to that.

I've been playing a lot of shows lately. It's strange to have music finally actually be my real job. It's weird to get something that you never really thought would happen.

Ugh. Life is crazy and likes to be all curvy and stuff.. Like crazy straws.

Those fuckers are sane.

Anyway.

Getting ready for a very very long flight to Japan. I'm leaving tomorrow really early. Good bye America.

I don't really know why. But I'm just having one of those days where everything reminds me of something else. And it's a freaking pain in the ass. I've been sitting in my room all day just to avoid seeing things that I don't want/need to see. Although even things like watching Friends reminds me of other things. Stupid other things.

Joey and I have been writing music lately which has actually been going pretty well. Although our drummer has been suspiciously gone. Stupid drummers. I've been getting over my flu which has been nice. I can ALMOST sing again. That's nice.

I guess relationships are just always going to be silly no matter who is in them or what is going on with them. Like I'm sure that if/when I decide to start dating again it's not like it's going to be really easy. Even my friends that seem to have it all together in their relationships have their ups and downs. At the same time I do look forward to someday starting something up again with someone. Until then, I'm actually ok. I have way to much to think about besides relationships. Stupid. hahaha.

Fuck this shit. I'm so done with the highs and lows. I'm not even really talking about my past relationship. I'm just talking about the shit that I have had to endure today.

FUCK.

I may have posted this before but I will post it again right now.

I would like to take my little Asian heart and put it into a small shoe box and hide it underneath my bed. Then, hopefully, it can't be broken or hurt or even thought about. I'll eventually forget about it and then when I'm deep cleaning my room I'll all of a sudden find it and be so excited that I'll want it again. But for now.. Fuck you heart. That's all.

Has been busy as heck lately. Touring in Alaska, packing up my apartment, trying to make myself a legal Washington vehicle owner. Found a bunch of stuff in my apt while cleaning in including my long lost copy of Parappa the Rappa 2. No one is going to be excited about that except Dan though. And I'm ok with that. Unfortunately I also found some Ex paraphernalia which brought up some pretty difficult memories. But hey, life is what it is and it's honestly going pretty well. got a few more shows lined up for the rest of the month and I'm working on a few more. Speaking of that:

ANYONE IN THE PORTLAND AREA ON THE 24TH OF OCTOBER, MAURICE THE FISH IS PLAYING A SHOW IN VANCOUVER WASHINGTON AT A BAR CALLED BLACKSTONE. PLEASE IF YOU CAN COME OUT!

We need good press. lol

love you all.

Happy Birthday Kristen!!!!! You rock my socks off like there were firecrackers involved somehow.

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I'm back from my trip to Alaska. It was strange. Like it was fun but still strange. I went through a very wide range of emotions in the four days I was there. I felt horrible and great all within a few hours. The flights both in and out were super intense as well. I hate just about everything on my Ipod. Most of it just makes me think of the past. I hate it. I want to be done with it.

Now I'm watching the Cleavland show and again it's just like American Dad, which was just like Family guy. Come on guys. can't you make a more original show?

Despite my better judgement I'm sitting here at 1am on the night before I'm supposed to leave for Alaska posting on LJ. I'm tired, very full of pho, and over thinking things.

It's nice to "have a car" now. Even though the only time I've driven it since I brought it home was to bring it to Ray's house so it could sit before I get insurance and new tabs for the thing. It feels nice though because, and trust me this is going to sound might gay, because it's like I have a real piece of Dan with me all the time. Like it was "our" car. I know it sounds silly but when your best friend is slightly further away then you wish it's nice to have something of his right around the corner every day.

So despite the fact that me and the ex are still not talking I still constantly think about her. Like every day kind of thing. And of course I miss her like crazy and I really do love her still! Ack! When does it all start to make sense again? Goodness, haven't I suffered enough? ha!

Onto Alaska this month, then the rest of October is dedicated to moving into my new place. Well Ray's place. That will be fun and a time consuming activity. I have a lot of shit. I'm excited and sad to leave the Landmark. I've enjoyed my time in Hilltop and I'm stoked to not have to worry about being in the bad part of town anymore. I'm very excited about the prospect of having Internet all the time and also stoked to save a grip of money.. or pay for car insurance finally.

yup. that's whats up..

going to Alaska. Peace out Tacoma.. for a few days at least.

Just got back from a surprisingly long trip to Oregon. It started as just dinner and ended up being a two day excursion.

(smells like fart in tullys)

But all in all it was a REALLY good trip. I wasn't expecting to see like three of the people that I got to see which was really really great. Got to catch up with my best friend and reaffirm the fact that we alway will be best friends forever. Which really makes me happy.

But then there was an ass long drive home which wasn't the greatest. But I got home safely and crashed out after a few text convos with other friends.

Have you ever noticed that if you have shitty posture trying to sit up straight actually kind of hurts. My back kind of hurts.

also someone is called Nicolet in the Tully's and I thought someone was yelling for me. It was weird.

To clarify, I might not be coming home just yet. I might have to take care of some other business in other states. Don't worry, I'm not going to Madison. Sheesh.

I'm angry right now. It comes and goes in waves but right this second I'm angry.

I'm angry that things just didn't go the way I thought that they would. I mean, who's to say if they went the right or wrong way because I sit here, unemployed, with a new computer in my lap, a cat to go home to that hopefully still loves me, good friends in Tacoma that I love and that love me, and the start of a career as a (as Chelsea so lovingly puts it) full time musician.

But at the end of the day I still find myself angry that things didn't turn out the way I had hoped. Now looking back on the past paragraph it would seem that I've come out better than I went in. And this is probably true, but it doesn't make it any easier at night when all I can think about is that. Which of course leads to horrible, horrible dreams that make me toss and turn and wake up before I want to wake up.

And WHY THE FUCK do stupid things still remind me of it all? What's that all about. OK, I can understand the music thing but come on!

Anyway. Sorry for ranting. Things will be find in the morning probably. I need to get to sleep. Tomorrow has the potential of being a very.. very... very..... long day.

I had a really off day today. I had another bad dream last night and it just messed with me all day. So I'm still trying to recover for that and then praying that it doesn't happen again tonight.

I'm reading "Let the Right One In" right now and I should probably stop reading scary books at night.

I've also been on a downloading kick and just downloading any movie I can think of. Which sometimes means I get some shit. Like the Wizards of Waverly Place movie. HA. I love the Disney Channel. Why? I don't know.

And I might not be coming home..

I hate how hard it is to get my transfer ratio back up to 1 on a new computer. shitty..

Did X-box just throw up all over my f-ing LiveJournal? Holy Sheet?

Still in Tennessee. Just hanging out. Did a lot of work in the Garage today going through old book and toys. And also watched a lot of Disney channel. Sorry this is such a boring post. I really don't have much to say. I've taken a shine to Twittering my bull shit thoughts every fifteen minutes. It's a fucking shame and I hate it. Ha. My life isn't that important. Lol.

I wear long sleeve under short sleeve shirts under long sleeve shirts..

yup.

and I pop all three of my collars.





not really.

I got a netbook! i'm souper excited about it. bomb.com

I'm having my usual troubled evening where I can't quite lose enough concentration to let myself fall asleep. People tell me to read but reading only seems to make me concentrate harder. Possibly because I am illiterate. I'm tired, and I have work to do tomorrow including maybe having to go to the DAMN mall which I'm not looking foward to. And my middle finger still hurts and that makes me sad. I can't close it into a fist and I have three shows before I leave for Tennessee in a week. not the best time for a sprained right middle finger. Sorry I'm bitching again

Oh, Sunshine cleaning was really good! I have a strange awkward crush on Emily Blunt....

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Wow, I finally freaking figured out Mobile LJ. Took me long enough.

Loving the new Ingrid Michaelson CD and just a ton of movies.

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

Hey dan, remember in episode III when anakin tries to jump over obiwan and is cut into a bunch of pieces? Does obiwan try the same thing to darth maul in episode I and gets away with it? Think about it.. Maybe Darth Maul was cool enough to use a bomb ass double sided lightsaber but not smart enough to know higher ground has its advantages..

I had another bad dream last night. The kind that's so real when you wake up you feel like shit. So I feel kind of like shit right now. I don't know why I still have these bad dreams. I'm really tired of them but I also know that it proves some things that I'm going to have to deal with soon. Oh well.